Labels

I am forever grateful that people don't have labels printed on them like food products. I am a ever changing, ever morphing, ever developing living being. To get a bit poetic: I am like the shifting cloud, or the maple tree through the year: changing colors, losing leaves, growing new leaves, over and over.

I am not stagnant in my Personhood.

But it does seem to me that others would be much more comfortable if we all did have "People Labels" printed on us. That way with one glance they could just *know* who you are. Who I Am (a question I delve into every day!).

In my youth, I felt this labeling (as I think we all do) hard core. Kids try to put each other into boxes for easy identification. I thought as I got older, I would finally find that perfect *box* that suit me perfectly. Instead, what I found was that NOBODY fits into a box perfectly!! In fact, I don't think we fit into boxes easily at all!

Today, I am finally putting my finger on something that has been nagging me for quite some time--and it is those same Labels that plagued me through childhood!

I don't want to be defined in any one way!

I am a mom--and other moms are looking for *what kind* of mom am I?

I am a Jew--and other Jews (and sometimes non-Jews) ask about the *type* of Jew I am! As if my practice or non-practice defines theirs!

I am a woman--and my husband thinks that this is why I feel the labeling more than he does. I suspect he is right. Men just don't seem to concern themselves with labels.

I am a homeschooler--this one really gets the labeling machine all jammed up! I really don't know how to define the kind of homeschooling family we are (and have recently stopped trying). If you ask my local homeschooling community, they would say we are radical unschoolers. In truth, I have said that as well in the past. But the radical unschooling community I think would disagree. They would call us eclectic homeschoolers.

Do the labels matter? I don't think they should. Or more specifically, I don't think I should care how or if people label me. But there seems to be a hierarchy that gets added in once a label is placed.

And I don't understand it at all.

I think I understand why the labeling happens. I think that most people believe that if they can find a label (a box) for someone, then they can *know* them, better *understand* who that person is.

But then that makes no sense to me either! A nutritional label may give you all the ingredients and nutritional value of a food. But it doesn't give you the taste, the smell, the texture. . . . You can not truly *know* what a food is through its labeling!

So, too, with people.

Taking the Slow Road

I was scrolling through the directions for a screening simulation for a telecommuting job. The simulation had a time limit (self monitored) of 30 minutes per simulation. Ideally, the company wanted me to make decisions and notations quickly. It got me wondering when speed began to equal efficiency, when productivity became synonymous with quantity. Does quality only count if it is matched with quickness?

And what happens to our decisions when they are made without a true contemplation of the outcomes. Maybe I don't need a lot of time to contemplate. I am sure there are people out there with amazing decision-making prowess. I don't know that I am one of them. But I don't believe that taking time to make a decision is a fault.

It dawned on me that there are very few instances when quick thinking action is needed. Most of those involve emergencies (or sports!). Emergencies (by definition) do not happen frequently. And sports . . .well, my Wii has a pause button.

This morning, the Today Show featured a segment on "Slow Parenting". Apparently this is a new trendy way of parenting where you actually focus on the connections you make with your children. What a revelation! ( snort) I am part of a community of homeschoolers, unschoolers, and attachment parents. Having a relationship with our children that involves a real connection is not new to us!

But in any case--the segment got me thinking about society and it norm of *faster* everything (food, service, cars, answers). Society doesn't like to wait for anything!

Is that true of me? Do I value speed over quality? I don't want to.

I want to honor taking one's time. I certainly want the patience. And I know I hate when I feel pressured into making a decision about anything *right NOW*. I think I would be better serving my own authenticity if I stopped reacting immediately to anything that I feel pressured to react to immediately. Just slow it all down. Be a "Sunday Driver" through life. Smell the roses. And the daisys. Blow bubbles. And dandelion seeds. Drive the speed limit. Be there when I get there.

And then truly BE there.